Michigan Family Gets In Zoning Trouble Over An Igloo

Here is an igloo a Southfield, Michigan family built in
February. Efforts to delay melting got them in 
trouble with the municipal zoning office. 

A family in Southfield, Michigan built a colorful igloo in their yard during a spell of cold weather last month. 

Eventually the sun came out and threatened to melt the igloo

So they put a canopy on the igloo to block the sun. It was one of those cheap portable pop up canopies small groups of people sit under for shade during summer visits to the beach.

And that, my friends, got the Roberts family in trouble from the Southfield with the city. They got a notice from the city that read: "Zoning and building approval is required for the canopy in the front yard," the notice read. "Please obtain proper approvals or remove this illegal structure."

Remember, this wasn't a permanent structure. The family just sort of leaned the canopy against the igloo, and moved it during the day periodically to block the sun. 

The city of Southfield responded with this predictably bureaucratic response:

"City Ordinance requires permits for all accessory structures, including temporary ones. These requirements are in place to keep residents safe, especially during winter weather, and to ensure structures meet placement regulations such as setbacks and front-yard restrictions"

The pop up canopy leaning against the igloo was meant
to prevent the sun from melting, However, Southfield
Michigan officials declared the canopy an
illegal structure and threatened the family with fines.

To keep residents safe? Safe from what? A piece of plasticky canvas and some flimsy aluminum poles? Safe from allowing the three Roberts girls, all under the age of 5, and neighborhood kids from having a great tine outdoors. Gotta keep those kids indoors tied to their devices instead of getting fresh air, I guess. 

And what are the fees for these permits? Are these permits just a sneaky way to siphon more revenue from the fine citizens of Southfield? 

I'm surprised Southfield officials didn't order the family to take down the igloo as an illegal structure. Each block of ice on the igloo was made of water infused with food coloring frozen into lasagna pans. 

In the end, the Roberts family removed the pop-up canopy, which apparently satisfied the zoning staff for now. Since it was removed the city graciously opted not to fine the Roberts.    

 “If their priorities are a shade that’s clearly over a kids igloo on a warm day for the last couple of days it was going to be frozen, I have got to kind of reconsider the city I live in or who I vote for,” said dad Justin Roberts said.

I heard you, brother!

Read further details on this story by clicking here on clickondetroit.com

Trump Administration Screws Hurricane Helene Victims Again

FEMA is dragging its feet in approving buyouts
for North Carolina homeowners whose property was
wrecked by Hurricane Helene 15 months ago. 

A popular Federal Emergency Management Agency feature is the Hazard Mitigation Grant Program. People whose homes were wrecked in disasters and are at risk of being hit again after repairs can apply for a buyout. 

Qualfied applicants under the voluntary program can get the pre-storm value of their home. Then they can take the money and move somewhere that's less disaster prone. 

The damaged home is torn down, and the site would never be developed again. The community benefits because they won't have to deal with that property in the next disaster, since there would be no house there.  

More than 800 Hurricane Helene victims in western North Carolina applied for buyouts, some of them as long ago as this past February. North Carolina officials, having vetted the applications, sent nearly 600 of those to Washington for processing. More will likely get approved in North Carolina.

But so far, the only thing FEMA has heard in response is crickets. FEMA has not so much as approved one of the buyout applications.  

Reports the Washington Post:

"So far...not a single approval has come through. North Carolina Gov. Josh Stein has called the paralysis 'absolutely unacceptable,' and has pushed for answers. Earlier this month, he wrote to FEMA's acting administrator, detailing the startling number of applications that 'remain without a final decision.'"

By the time the Washington Post published the story more than a week ago, nobody from FEMA responded to requests for comment. 

However, once the story was published, the agency sent a short statement, saying it "remains committed" to North Carolina Helene recovery. The FEMA statement said many applicants had not been approved yet "because they do not comply with federal regulations." 

That's news to William Ray, the director of North Carolina Emergency Management, as NPR reports. "we do not have anything in hand that says that officially things are ineligible. We are not able to get a good answers from FEMA as to why they are not moving forward."

Join the club, William.  

Maybe the problem is Homeland Security Director Kristi "Ice Barbie" Noem, whose department has authority over FEMA.  She has a rule in which she personally approve every expenditure over $100,000.

My accusation is all conjecture and sarcasm on my part, but it wouldn't surprise me if Ice Barbie is gumming up the works with FEMA assistance because she's so busy kicking non-whites out of the country and cosplaying some sort of weird ICE assassin or something.  

 In the best circumstances, these buyouts take awhile to arrange. A 2019 study found that it takes a median of roughly five years to complete a buyout from start to finish. However, FEMA says it usually takes two years to complete. 

However, the Trump administration has deeply cut staffing at FEMA this year, so who's left to manage the buyout process. Plus, the very existence of FEMA is in question, as its future is being debated both Trump Powers That Be. 

Which leads us to another broken Trump promise. He had said that he would "slash through every bureaucratic barrier" and said "every single inch of every property will be fully rebuilt, greater and more beautiful that it was before."

So far. Trump's administration hasn't even been able to tear down damaged properties, never mind build everything back. North Carolina is still a mess, 15 months after the hurricane. 

I'll let WaPol handle this:

"The reality is that local governments continue to wait for large sums in federal reimbursements for debris cleanup and other projects. Roads still need repairs. Renters and homeowners remain displaced."

Click on this link to read the entire, very worthwhile WaPo article.