Ice Barbie Exults Glorious Leader Trump For PreventIng U.S. Hurricanes Landfalls In 2025,

Kristi "Ice Barbie" Noem praised Donald Trump 
yesterday for keeping hurricanes away from the U.S.
My guess is he used a Sharpie to do that. 

Hurricane season ended last Sunday, and with that, we can rejoice that the United States was not hit by a hurricane this year for the first time since 2015. 

And to whom do we owe that great fortune? President Trump himself! 

We learned this via one of Trump's cabinet meetings, this one held on Tuesday. .You know the ones, where each cabinet secretary praise glorious leader to an extreme that would make North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jung-Un blush.  

Meanwhile, Trump snoozes. 

Which gets me to the hurricane story. None other that Homeland Secretary Kristi "Ice Barbie" Noem, said to "daddy" this gem. "Sir, you made it through hurricane season without a hurricane....Even you kept the hurricanes away. We appreciate that."

Well, I for one definitely appreciate that the U.S. was not hit by a hurricane this year. Gawd knows we have enough problems with adding hurricanes to the mix. 

Ice Barbie did not disclose how Trump kept the hurricanes away. My guess is with a Sharpie, but I don't know how exactly he pulled that off.   

I do see a scandal brewing Trump's Great Hurricane Accomplishment, though. Trump somehow failed to prevent that big flood during the July 4 weekend, the one that killed 135 people, several of whom were girls at a Christian summer camp. 

Christian summer camp? You would have thought the god-like Trump would have intervened, since he and his MAGA follows tell us they're such good Christians. 

There was, of course, trouble with hurricanes in the Atlantic Ocean this year. Hurricane Melissa devastated parts of Jamaica in late October.  I don't think Trump had any influence on that storm, but what does he care? It's not as if he's into helping other nations anyway. 

Other hurricanes that did not hit the United States still caused trouble, like stirring up waves that washed seaside homes on the Outer Banks of North Carolina into the ocean. I guess Trump should have nudged those storms further out to sea, or made the go away with his Big Beautiful Bill, or some damn thing. 

Meanwhile, I'm not really happy with the weather here in Vermont. We're expecting snow squalls and bitterly cold air. Can't Trump push that away from us?

Oh, wait, we're a blue state. He's probably pulling that wintry weather our way as punishment. Even if he has to import it from Canada. What is the tariff rate on cold fronts?